It's beer o'clock, and I'm buying

Just wrote this since finishing work today and doesn't even have a title. Haven't edited it as well so there are most likely mistakes in it.
Tried to go for a Brett Easton Ellis style of story but just not my cup of tea but I love reading his work and fancied trying something different.

Anyway enough babbling, enjoy.

Michelle

I look to my right and see there is no bog roll to clean myself up with. I really should have checked before I pissed and even though I’m not very well endowed, I don’t have any in my bra.

But I look behind me and find a poster for a gig next week and just grab it, using it to clean myself up with. I think the gig was for a different club to I’m in at the moment, something about a foam party and I wish even more now that there was toilet paper as I’m not picking it up from the toilet.

As I exit the cubicle I see Keira is still pissing around by the sink while everyone else exits to the dance floor. She’s clearly still upset about splitting up with Duncan who has really shitty dress sense and has the same sense of humour as Jim Davidson.

“C’mon Keira you look stunning, lets head back to the dance floor”

She acts as if she doesn’t hear me which I’m sure she did but I gather her head is going through a million moments which all involve Duncan of course. I walk up to her and try to act as if I care but in truth I find her being upset about it rather childish, she was the one who pulled the plug on Duncan.

Her mascara is still holding up quite well…she’s been controlling it very well thinking about it considering she’s pouring her eyes out.

“He’s a fucking prick” she says with some spit landing on the mirror in front of her. I try to concentrate on what else she tells me but the spit on the mirror is really bothering me as it slowly slides down.

“I mean what the fuck did I see in him?” She shouts at me which makes me jump a little.

“C’mon lets back into the club. You were the one who dumped him, you have nothing to feel shit about.”

I put my arm around her and we both finally exit after all that bullshit. The club is playing some shit by Basshunter that I can’t stand but everyone still dances to it as if it’s Castles in The Sky. Keira walks to the other girls to moan realising I can’t be arsed dealing with her break up anymore. I just can’t understand why she’s so upset from dumping him, I mean she comes out on top as she’s the one who called it a day. If she liked him that much why fucking dump him in the first place, just tears over nothing to me. At the bar there is a bloke checking my arse but when I turn to him he pretends he’s looking towards the dance floor. The idiot can’t work out that I can see what he’s up to from the mirror on the wall of the bar. I have no interest in him already, ginger and he’s wearing white socks with black trousers. Nothing like Adrian who dresses like Kanye West, smells nice and is a great dancer. That’s the main reason I’m out tonight as Keira told me he was coming here for Micah’s birthday but he still hasn’t arrived. My glass of wine has nearly finished and I really don’t want to break my twenty pound note. I might try and get that ginger twat to buy me a drink and then fuck off.

Paul

If Adrian takes any longer to get ready I’m fucking going, he’s taken two hours now. I rushed from football training for him, told me he would be out of his house by nine but its ten thirty.

“Where are my fucking shutter shades?” Adrian shouts in frustration

“It’s ten thirty at night Adrian. Trust me the sun isn’t gonna come out anytime soon”

I look around the living room and find his DVD collection. There are numerous films that I would never watch like Get Rich or Die Trying and Waist Deep. He considers himself to be from the streets, someone who came from nothing and is now loaded. But in truth he was born into money as his dad owns a big golf club. I also find his porn which he makes no effort to hide from guests like most people. Killer Pussy 3 catches my attention though with its good use of a holographic cover with the girl’s tits moving side to side.

“Have you found them?” I shout upstairs

I’m gonna count to ten in my head and if he doesn’t come down I’m going home.

“Yeah I found them mate.” He says as he comes down the stairs, I got to four by the way. “They were in my pocket all along believe it or not”

Wonderful that’s very kind of you. That’s twenty minutes I’m not gonna ever get back again.

“I get a text and Duncan is already on his way mate” Adrian continues “He said there is a queue for the ATM though at ASDA”

“Well I need to get cigarettes and I can just get cash back. You can pay me back at the end of the night mate”

“Nice one…Oh yeah also Keira and Michelle are gonna be there”

Michelle I have always had feelings for since I was in high school, the typical school crush that everyone has had. She looks like Mila Kunis and without the off putting Meg voice. She’s just perfection and I now have more reason to go out and bear with the pain in my ankle from that tackle earlier.

“So where is Duncan at the moment Adrian?”

Duncan

The train hasn’t stopped rumbling from side to side and I remember now why I normally take the bus instead of the train, it’s fucking scary.

The girl sitting opposite me hasn’t stopped looking at me but when I look at her she quickly looks away. I consider my current options that are available to me. Don’t do anything and continue to the club to meet up with Adrian and Paul, or I go up to her tell her I see her looking at me and get straight to the chase and fuck her in the trains toilet, or I walk near to her pull my trousers and boxer shorts down and completely exposing myself while I shake my willy about right in front of her.

I choose not to do anything as she’s not that fit and I really don’t want to get arrested. As I get off the station she goes her way and I go mine, it was never meant to be. Now she will never know how well I can shake my cock. The train station is full of people my age all singing and excited for the night ahead. In front of me are a group of lads clearly going out for the first time, one of them is wearing trainers as well, he’s so fucked . If they all get I.D tonight they are fucked anyway as they are clearly fifteen years old the lot of them.

I better get something to eat before I make my way to the club. Adrian and Paul haven’t texted me they have arrived yet so that’s more reason to delay the night.

The coffee is a rip off though and I’m not paying two quid for one but I’m more than happy to pay four quid for a burger.

Michele

The ginger won’t leave me alone and I wish I just breaked into my twenty pound note now.

“So what’s your name?” He asks

“It’s Stacey just text me tomorrow morning and we will hook up sometime sweetie”

He nods and smiles while finally moving away from me, convinced he’s pulled me and we are gonna watch some shitty film about robots that fight other robots on Tuesday. Thank God I have my old number still stored. It’s saved me more than once now. Where the hell is Adrian, he’s the only reason why I’m still in this shithole with the worse DJ. He’s played We built this City and Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer, just typical overplayed bullshit that everyone plays. It also doesn’t help you can’t dance to those songs. You are also forced to shout on top of your voice when the DJ switches the chorus parts off for everyone to sing to. I don’t wanna wake up with a sore throat in the morning, the headache from the alcohol will do cheers Mr. DJ.

Again my wine glass is empty and no one is checking me out who I can take advantage of. I think everyone are more into Insomnia by Faithless at the moment at the DJ knows how to use the clubs lights to great effect, that’s the only complement I’m gonna give him though.

I buy a bottle of wine and expect Keira to split the money with me later. She drinks like a fish so I doubt she will turn down going half with me.

As I walk to the table and I see Paul entering but there is no sign of Adrian. He sort of nods and smiles at me and I return the hello back by miming alright to him. He walks over to me but he was originally gonna head to the bar from what I gather from body language. If he expects me to split the bottle three ways he can fuck right off.

“Alright” He says as he kisses my cheek and the music changes to Red Alert by Basement Jaxx.

“Yeah I’m good and how about your good self Paul”

“Eager to catch up in the drinking, Adrian took far too long getting ready”

“Where is Adrian then?”

“In the queue to put his coat away”

“Awesome I will catch up with you in a bit”

As I walk away I think Paul tries to say something back but I pretend I didn’t hear him. If he thinks I’m gonna split the bottle with him and Keira he really is living on another planet. Anyway Adrian waiting on his own and it’s quieter and it’s the perfect time for us. I have a free flat as my other house mates are else where and I’m wearing my favourite dress which never lets me down.

“Hello Adrian”

Oh my God he’s wearing his awesome shutter shades and that white jacket that only he can pull off.

“Alright sweetheart” He says as he kisses my cheek slowly, he so knows what he’s doing.

“Yeah I’m good but Keira is pissing me off”

“Is she being a diva again?”

“Worse she’s crying over Duncan”

Adrian then sort of pulls a face of clear awkwardness which I immediately read.

“Oh you are kidding me, he’s not coming here?”

“Well he really wanted to come out” He shrugs

Then David Morales’s Needin’ U comes on and we both have that moment where we are both quiet and just look at each other.

“I love this song” He says while nodding his head clearly wanting to run onto the dance floor for this tune.

I grab his coats and he just looks at me in astonishment which makes taking the bullet more worth it. He holds that look at me for only a few seconds but my God it’s just heaven and is worth waiting in a queue for ten minutes.

“Michelle you are a star” he says.

Before he runs off he kisses me on the cheek and I turn around watch him run away from me. I look to the remainder of the queue and it’s about twenty people but they are really slow at the desk, so it will be about fifteen minutes. The guy in front of me is wearing jeans that are too big for his waists. It is a normal thing I suppose in today’s society but normally I just see the Calvin Klein boxers and not the arse crack which is revolting.

Paul

Finally here and Adrian needs to hang his coat now, done enough waiting at his place. I told him I would be in the club somewhere around the dance floor but I’m actually looking around for Michelle. Soon as I walk into the area I see Michelle and just looks stunning but unlike most girls, she still leaves plenty to the imagination that you just want to find out.

I would buy her drink but she’s already bought a bottle of wine. So I’m really trying to think of another move but as I think of something I just nod my head and smile at her like an idiot. I think she says hello or alright back to me, either way I haven’t exactly pressed the right the buttons on this occasion.

“Alright” I ask her for some reason even though she already said she did.

It immediately reminds of a phone call from a mobile phone. You hear the phone ring and look at the display screen and see whose calling. But when we answer the phone to the caller, everyone pretends that we are none the wiser to who is calling. I think it’s some kind of stupid rule that everyone follows even though it’s stupid and makes no sense.

“Yeah I’m good how about your good self Paul”

“Eager to catch up in the drinking, Adrian took far too long getting ready”

“Where is Adrian then?”

“In the queue to put his coat away”

“Awesome I will catch up with you in a bit”

As she walks away I try to warn her that Duncan is coming here as well as Keira and him have just broken up, but she doesn’t hear me. The bar near me is quiet so I get a beer but they are only serving bottles and they are three quid. It annoys me they charge that much each for them when in ASDA they are seventy pence each. I wouldn’t mind too much if it was free entry but it wasn’t, it was 8 quid…arseholes. Thinking about arseholes where the hell is Duncan? I’ll send him another text which will hopefully give him the hint to hurry up.

Duncan

I’m outside the club in the queue in the rain but I did meet a nice girl when I had a coffee named Olivia. She’s…umm.

“You are eighteen Olivia?” I sarcastically ask her.

She rolls her eyes and smiles, every bird likes to be mistaken for being younger. It possibly makes them think or feel their skin is good or some bullshit like that. I have no idea and I don’t give a shit as long as I get what.

“No I’m twenty three”

“Really? Twenty three. I thought you were nineteen”

I of course lie which I do on a regular basis with women, she’s clearly in her early twenties.

I get a text message of Paul asking me where I am but I already texted him I will be five minutes. Well that five minutes did finish an hour ago thinking about it. Me and Olivia must have been talking for ages at the coffee shop. I’ll text him anyway that I’m outside and apologise, which always works. I just say sorry and everything is fixed and no effort is done on my part. As I put the phone away I notice Olivia was looking at phone’s display screen. She was either reading my text to see if I was texting another girl or seeing if a girl was displayed on my phones screen. She’s so into me and see’s me as boyfriend material but I just want to shag her and I’m trying to work out a way to get her back to mine, fuck her and then in the morning drop her off at hers.

“Are your friends inside then?” She asks.

I pretend to look around for them which keeps Olivia amused.

“Well they are not outside”

She giggles which I normally like from girls but hers is incredibly annoying. I’m starting to have second thoughts of putting in the effort of shagging her but she turns around to see how the queue is getting along. I then get another glimpse of her perfect peach shaped arse which reminds why I’m putting a bit of effort in her and why I brought her along.

We finally get to the end of the queue but the bouncer wants to see Olivia’s I.D and the look of the face says it all.

“I have no I.D on me” She says.

No one forgets their I.D it’s like going outside and forgetting to put shoes on. She’s not eighteen but she looks at me with the whole “Please don’t leave me”. I continue into the club and leave her outside and make up some shit excuse that I had to meet them. When I go in I immediately feel like shit and quite rightly so. As usual I have only one thing on my mind and that is me, hopefully this feeling will fuck off after ten minutes and a beer.

As I pay the eight quid to get in I see Michelle is at the end of he queue to put her coat away. I don’t see any sign of Keira so I may as well say hello to her and try and get her to put my coat away from me.

“Hello my baby hello my honey hello my ragtime doll” I sing to her but it doesn’t work and still looks away from me.

“Don’t bother Duncan”

“Anyway could you hang up my coat for me Michelle?”

She turns to me in astonishment and anger which sort of turns me on. It’s a shame she’s not interested, I reckon she’s really dirty as well.

“You never cease to amaze me Duncan”

“C’mon Michelle you right at the end of the queue and I have the exact money ready for you”

She snatches the money out of my hand and takes my coat then says something else, might have been fuck off or something like that. But I don’t care she’s always gonna hate me anyway for some stupid reason. I head straight to the dance floor and Paul will find me anyway he always does.

Michelle

Finally I get rid of the coats and I had to deal with Duncan a swell. He’s such an idiot and does my head in so much and still I have no idea what Keira saw in him. He’s good looking but such a dick. Anyway I’m back in the club and I can’t see Adrian anywhere but Duncan is on the dance floor trying to pull half the club. In all credit to him he’s a piece of shit but is very charming. Thank God I warned of him by Cheryl in school, I wonder what happened to her after school. Probably pregnant by now as she was a bit of a slut. I think most of the boys in my year lost their virginity’s to her, I bet she was a modern day Florence Nightingale for them but instead of a thermometer it was cock.

Anyway the night is still young and Adrian is still here, I mean he can’t have left as I still have his ticket for his coat. When he pulls me I’m very tempted to say the old “grab your coat, you’ve pulled” to him, or is that too cheesy? Yea that’s shit I won’t do that thinking about it. Keira is heading to me and it looks like she’s stopped crying finally and she’s smiling, finally.

“You will never guess what I know Michelle” She says in excitement.

I look past Keira’s and notice Paul is on his own at the bar looking rather pissed off about something. I want to go over there and see if he’s alright but Keira has no intention of letting me go.

“Please, enlighten me”

She then grabs me by my hand and drags me back to the fucking toilets. So far I have spent the whole night queuing to put coats away and the toilets. The staff must think I’m some kind of crack addict by now.

Anyway were in the toilets now and it’s very busy but obviously neither me or Keira need to take a piss.

“Adrian is gay” She says to me

I would have thought finding out that someone you are crazy about not fancying you, would make you feel like shit. But for some strange reason it didn’t for me, but if it was a girl I think I would have cried. But because he’s gay, it’s kinda like, oh well I never had a chance and I’m amazingly already over it. Christ that is strange thinking about it.

“I also know who fancies you” she then says.

Ok normally when Keira is gossiping it tends to be boring as most of the time its information I already know, like when she told me that Duncan had slept with Cheryl. There have been times where I have been tempted to just shout at her “I already know Keira” but she’s just too nice and is not someone who can just take that attitude especially from her best friend. Having said all that though I think she’s gonna tell me that Adrian fancies me and for once I’m very excited.

“Who, who fancies me” I ask her like an excited little girl on Christmas Eve.

“Well before I tell you who fancies you-“

“Oh come on you can’t leave me hanging like that”

Keira

Come on Keira don’t let him win don’t let him use you like he did with all the other girls. I can’t believe when I was doing the dumping I was the one who came out hurt. I mean I’m at his and I tell him that I have something important to say and he’s listening intensely to me and tell him we should go our separate ways and he’s like…Yeah I agree and clearly doesn’t care!

I mean we spent six months together, told me he has never felt this way before about anyone during that time and just dismisses what we had, what I gave to the relationship. So we just hugged for a few seconds and then he does that look and asks “How about we make love one more time, to say goodbye to each other properly” and I fucking fell for it.

Anyway I have finished all the crying about it now. Be strong Keira you can beat anything.

I have barely seen the club as Michelle has been spending far too much time talking about herself and she keeps dragging me to the bloody toilets. I at least make good use of the time by checking my make up which she should really do sometime.

As I dance with my other girlfriends in the club I see Adrian finally enter the club and comes rushing towards us in excitement. The party can finally get started that he’s here now and his white suit is flawless on him.

“Where’s Bradley” Adrian asks me.

“I have no idea but he is coming”

Bradley is one of guys Duncan plays football with and has fantastic legs drop dead gorgeous. I think Duncan got jealous one point when Bradley was talking to me but I told him he was gay and couldn’t care less then.

“Can I talk to you for one second” He asks me

I nod and we both head to the bar and he seems all serious all of a sudden, a bit nervous as well.

“Something wrong Adrian?”

“You know Bradley right?”

He’s well aware I know Bradley but I really don’t get what’s he getting at.

“Well I know him but were not friends necessarily like you and me, why?”

He then comes closer to me and asks me.

“Is he really gay Keria?”

“Yes he’s gay”

“Is he…single?”

“At the moment he is”

“Can I tell you something but you can’t tell anyone else”

Oh my God this is clearly big, he is never this serious well not from what I remember.

“I’m gay Keira and I fancy him”

“Oh my god really” I manage to say, as right now I’m in a total state of shock.

“Yes, really”

“I have always wanted a gay best friend”

“Do you think you can work of a way to set us up?”

“Oh totally I’m so there for you for anything”

I hold his hand and I just can’t hide my excitement as this is so cool he’s gay. I can finally go shopping with a man that isn’t there just to keep me happy.

“There is also something else I have to tell you” He says still in serious mode.

This night has gone from average to just awesome. I mean more is happening than Sex and the City tonight.

“What?”

“Paul fancies, no sorry head over heels in love with Michelle”

“I thought he was and she does really like him as well”

“Does she? Has she mentioned him often then?”

“Oh yeah she really likes him, well she doesn’t show it but she’s always liked him I just know it”

“I’ll have to ext him and tell him it’s game on. Anyway, lets get back to the floor”

“I could agree more”

We both pretty skip back to the dance floor and Lovestory is playing by Layo & Bushwacka and this night couldn’t get any better but then I look to my left as I dance with Adrian and I see Duncan heading to the dance floor. I have to make a quick exit and I see Michelle and I’m just gonna rush to her to make it look like I didn’t see Duncan. She can talk for hours without failure as well and she can get me a drink, I wonder where she has been all night. Possibly been talking with someone as usual

“You will never guess what I know Michelle”

Paul

I’m at the bar and it’s been a shit night as I can’t dance as my ankle is hurting that much and everyone have been disappearing all the time. The beer is really expensive here as well and I have already spent a tenner in the space of two hours. I’m also gonna make a move on Michelle tonight. I have been putting off for too long now and it’s about time I had the balls to at least try.

I see her and Keira leaving the toilets and Keira has finally stopped crying but then she turns her head and looks at me. It’s a look that I think normally give her and I’m now thinking if she has always felt the same way for me as I do for her. But she goes to the dance floor and I think I’m starting to think too much with my heart rather than my brain. I think Duncan has headed outside with some random girl that he tends do all the time with Adrian on the dance floor.

I might text the guys and tell them I’ve headed off and my ankle is playing up. If I go now I might make the train home and save myself a lot of money as well. But as I start texting the message Michelle starts walking up to me, with that beautiful smile that makes the night more memorable now.

She just sits next to me and looks at me smiling away, holding her head with her elbow resting on the table.

“Ok you freaking me out now” I say to her which is a complete lie.

“You look as bored here as me”

“Well I would be on the dance floor but I hurt my ankle earlier”

“How?”

“Football, someone did a late tackle, instead of kicking the ball they kicked my ankle”

“Ouch”

“Yeah it hurt”

“Who were you texting then?”

“Just the fellas to tell them I was heading off. Boring just sitting here all night”

“I was heading off as well, Keira hasn’t stopped all night”

It’s now or never. If I don’t ask her now I never will and it’s a perfect moment. Everyone else are occupied and it’s just us.

“Shall we get a burger or something?”

“I thought you would never ask, I’m starving”

We both get up and exit the bar area straight to the exit, we both breathe a sigh of relief we are out of there.

“So is this a date then?” She asks as we walk down the quiet street.

I look at her and she still just gives me that smile that makes me…I don’t know feel as if I have found another piece of myself and the more I’m with her, the more pieces she fills in. Something like that anyway, Christ I’m cheesy.

“Well it’s just us two, we are going for a meal and we are holding each others arms. So it’s a yeah for me from my concept of a date”

We both laugh and she then briefly rests her head on my shoulder.

“I would take you to somewhere more classy mind” I continue.

“Where would you take me then?”

“I would take you to Di Biaggio’s”

“It’s something like a hundred quid for two. Quite a bit for a first date”

“Well I would take you there?”

She then stops forcing me to stop with her and she looks at me in surprise.

“You would take me there then?” She asks

“You I would, but no one else”

She then comes up to me and kisses me and I can’t describe how good or right it feels. We possibly kiss for ages but it feels too brief and we only stop to let a car go past and we both continue walking to the burger shop.

It’s only when I get to the end of the street I realize we are holding hands, I can’t believe this happening and we are together.

“So this is our first date” She says looking at the burger shop

“Nah we are just getting a snack. The date is at Di Biaggio’s”

She then turns to me and looks at me the way I have always looked at her.

“I’m free Monday. Is Monday good for you?”

“Monday is great”

The song Lovestory by Layo & Bushwacka then starts playing in my head which also sums up how I feel right now. We then both get a burger catch a train together and don’t let go of each other all the way back to my place.

Duncan

How the hell did I wake up here next to this dust bin, Christ I can’t remember a thing about last night. I check my pockets and I find that I have lipstick two cloak room vouchers and a receipt for a train ride that I clearly never took. My phone has a message from last from Paul telling me that he’s heading off.

As I take a piss against the wall my wee goes all over the place so I must have had sex last night and I really hope it wasn’t a homeless person.

I really need a coffee hopefully I will start remembering what happened last night then.

Keira

I wake up in my bed and I find I’m still wearing my clothes from last night. I must have passed out or something. I wonder how Michelle got along with Paul after.

“Oh come on you can’t leave me hanging like that” I remember her saying in the toilets to me.

I told her that Paul has always liked her and then all of a sudden there was like a strange realization from her. It was as if I flicked a switch and there was this smile from her that I had never seen before.

“He likes me?” She asked me

I had to tell her three times she must have thought she wasn’t good enough for Paul or something. Which is understandable mind as she probably felt that everyone were checking me out all the time including Paul.

I’m really hungry and I might make myself some beans on toast. My phone then goes off and I see it’s a text from Duncan and then I quickly remember in brief flashbacks that I shagged Duncan in this bed last night and he walked out half naked carrying his trousers.

I get the phone out and call Keira with my tears dropping on the screen.